Alexand Merek has been released from a floating asylum. She has just woken from catatonia. This story is set fifty years before her first appearance in my series of novels. (A Spanish translation is now available, by Hernán Jara Droguett.) CLICK HERE for next chronological story.
Images, story and characters, © Cheryl Moore
Leaving me wanting to know more.
I’m glad Kelly 😀
Constructive criticism welcome! What do you think so far? Do you want to read more? Do you think the story is TOOOO micro? Do you like micro? Do you want to learn more about the first character or do you want to read about other characters? I’m curious. I feed on feedback 😀
All the extra tidbits are lovely and very welcomed. I am very much enjoying the book (I love her mom – what an awesome lady.)
LOL Chantal, Don’t mess with Inajda Rekaya *Grrrrrr* 😀
This is a nice taste of your writing. I do want more, that’s for sure. As a first post, I don’t think it’s too micro, but for a long term basis more actually story might be in order (especially if you’re trying to prove to agents/editors that you do have storytelling ability, and not just exquisite word-smithing capabilities!). Good, good start.
And I love the artwork! Just gorgeous.
Hi, Staci, thank you! Yes I was considering how much storyline to play with in future micros, but I think I wanted this first one to be very intimate. A larger story may have taken away from the emotive and exposed and raw parts, which are crucial in this particular character’s genesis. Other characters (and indeed Alexand’s future self) demand bigger micros, so I’m grateful you brought that point up. 😀
Hi Cheryl, this is wonderful! It’s insightful and well written, and leaves us wanting more :). Your writing is very creative and in-depth, and really draws the reader in to the story.
As far as a critique goes, there is only one thing I would mention, and that is a pet peeve of mine ;). As a reader, I find it easier to follow characters if speakers’ begin their sentences on new lines. I hope that makes sense :). Instead of following what Chatacter 1 says with what Character 2 says on the same line, some readers find it easier if a new line is started for character 2.
Hope that helps in some way :). It’s only a suggestion :). I can’t wait to read more!
Hi Nicole, thank you and yes I must admit the format was art induced due to my need to fit the text around the image design. I suppose the layout of a non illustrated story would be different, so I used a bit of poetic license 😀 Glad you want to read more. The next story in the micro series involves one character without any spoken speech, but this is a point I’m going to store in my brain for later! Thank you again 😀
Intriguing! I’m waiting for more!
Thank you Ien, I’m glad. 😀
Sorry it took me so long to get here. I find the story very intriging… it definately makes me want to learn more about Alexand, and admittably, since I’ve read only a bit of your story, I’m kinda interested in learning about Alaxand’s husband also. If I remember correcly, he was a very nice person in the story and one that helped shape Alaxand into who she was… I may be wrong (hope I’m not) 😉 I don’t think the story was too micro, I enjoyed it, and I think you’re right. I believe you would have lost some of the poignant parts of the story if you’d gotten too wrapped up in story telling and made it longer. This was great. I look forward to the next. 😀
Justine, I’m glad you arrived here, it doesn’t matter about the time you took, in fact I hope that there will be trails of people reading this over the months or years to follow, just passing by, or leaving their own marks on this page. Thank you for your comments. I am particularly grateful to you because your group is where I met a lot of the other writers in our community. I am grateful that you enabled me to share my first chapter and become part of this community. 😀 I’m glad you want to learn more about Alexand’s husband. His story will no doubt be told here some time in the future.
I liked the taste of Alexand. She is certainly complex. I’ve subscribed to read more microstories you post. LOVE your artwork!
Hi Cheryl,
This was a good read. It definitely left me wanting to know more about Alex. How will she adapt to the present? How will her husband adapt to the changes within her that he reluctantly perceives?
Wow, thank you Marsha, I appreciate that and that you enjoyed this story enough to subscribe to my coming micro stories. *Does excited dance* 😀
Mary, I’m glad you want to know more about the characters, that means a lot. Alexand’s husband will be featured some time in the future, so watch this space! Thank you 😀
I enjoyed this. Thank you.
looking forward to more.
Hi Abha, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the first story, I’m looking forward to sharing many more of my character’s micro lives with you! 😀
This one is better than the other in issue 2. I read them in reverse order, sorry.
This one makes me more curious about the character. It sounds like she died and came back. This is far more intriguing. Where did she go? Why is she in an asylum? Why was she released? Was she cured? Why she even mentally ill to start?
I’ve got all kind of questions here that I don’t have with your other character sketch. I think partly because Alexand has a husband and there’s interaction between. In the other sketch, the girl has a monologue. There’s no real action so I have nothing to care about.
Hope that helps.
Thank you Rich, it’s great that you’ve compared the two characters, that’s very useful from my perspective.
I think I’ve had that conversation. Not as poetic and bittersweet, however. Nowhere close.
Thanks for reading, I’ve just had a look at j+j4evr, it’s a really refreshing blog… Feel free to drop by my world any time. 😀
This makes me ache for her — physically and psychologically.
Myada Mar is Cynthia. WordPress assumed. Sorry.
I’m pleased, because Alexand is one of my most precious characters. (In fact my main character.) I’m glad that you feel able to relate and empathise with her. It’s so important.
I love your writing style – vivid and poetic and at the same time strangely stark, which I think serves the story well. You really bring home the sense of devastation and confusion of these characters: whatever has happened to Alexand, it has obviously been completely life-changing. One interesting thing this story highlights for me is how the reactions/emotions of the character can influence the reactions/emotions of a reader: because we are seeing everything through her eyes, we take our cues from her, so to speak. Alexand seems numb to me; she has not yet fully grasped what has happened to her; she can hardly grasp the fact that she is alive. Therefore, part of the story make me feel somewhat numb as well. Strangely enough, the person I feel more sorry for in this scene is her husband, because he is still clinging onto hope that she will return to her old self (at least, that’s how I read it). I would love to read this scene from his point of view, know what he’s feeling and how much he does or doesn’t know. If Alexand had been alone when she awakened I might not have cared so much about her, but the fact that a loving husband is part of her awakening highlights the sense of loss she feels upon realizing that she will never be the same person again. That, more than anything else, is what I took from this story. Sorry for long post; I got carried away.
Wow, Kaely, that is an amazing response, which I am still swimming over *does a lot of very happy dancing*.. We’re on the same wavelength here *high fives you*.. I’m glad you mentioned Alexand’s husband, Jarad. He isn’t going to appear until story # 5, but I’m getting a strong sense that a lot of people would like some answers, or some continuation from this story. This is brilliant from my perspective, because story # 4 (as requested by Chantal) will involve Alexand and Jarad’s son Sam. I can’t go into too much detail, but I really hope you and everyone who enjoyed this flavoured story are pleased with Sam and Jarad’s micro stories… And don’t apologise for the long post, you’re welcome to write anything that comes to mind. A BIG ThaNK You!! 😀
Well said, Kaely!
Amazing story!!! 🙂
I am glad you found me out else I would not have discovered you stories.
And I forgot to mention , I totally and completely loved your illustrations. Amazing seriously!!
I am off to read rest of the series as well !
Thank you, I love your poetry, especially “Rails.”
The feeling is mutual then 😀
Definitely! 😀
So glad you liked my poem which caused me to visit this page and stumble upon your amazing work. You’re everything I’ve aspired to be and I can’t wait to catch up on this series.
Thank you. You have some very original poetry. I’m going to read more of your work too. It’s good to meet you. Cheryl
Hello! I’ve dropped by several times, and each time I think, “Oh my, how interesting! I need to come back when I have time to start at the beginning and catch up!” The illustrations and bits I’ve read seem quite fascinating!
Gad you stopped by Wyrd. Thank you. Good to meet you. Cheryl
Thanks for the follow, Cheryl. Your blog is fascinating and I can’t wait to really dig in. I hardly know where to begin. The concept and the art is amazing. So glad you found me, now I can follow your blog.
You’re welcome Sabina and thank you too, I appreciate it. Good to meet you. Cheryl
An excellent way to describe a thought passing during a moment of time!
Thank you! 😀
Just dived in at Issue 1 and I’ll be reading a lot more. Your writing reminds me of Jean-Dominique Bauby, my favorite author. Very efficient and sensory.
Thanks Shane, glad you’re enjoying the series, and good luck with the novel submission. I’m also going through that process too 🙂
Found your site and this series a while back but never really did any reading. Well, guess now’s as good of a time as any to start from Issue #1. Looking forward to catch up on this series.
Thanks, Frank, I hope you enjoy reading it.